A change of plans

It's been foreever since I blogged, and I apologize for not keeping up. For the past month or so, I have limited my access to social networking things like Facebook or AIM. The reason why I thought it would be best for me to isolate myself, is to.. well, really just evaluate everything all over again. What caused this sudden drift - well, I saw my ex pop up on the facebook mutual friend's list (or really that "people you may know") and like a wuss, I broke down tremendously. I knew I was feeling this pain and I knew it wasn't any good that I'm still feeling like a fan girl crying over Justin Bieber. I then thought to myself that I could no longer let myself cry because my relationship with him is dead. Like you know when a relationship ends, it's like that person died and everything you thought they were didn't turn out to be who they really were, because let's face it.. If somebody loves you, they wouldn't break up with you (especially in the way pathetic way he did). You don't break up with someone on the day I give you your anniversary present and you certainly don't break up with someone over a text message. He did say he did this because he loved me, so I guess that's the truth. I'll stop there. At one point during the days, I thought to myself "why am I crying over spilled milk? I may be crying every morning but is he doing the same?" I think not. Crying didn't change anything and I thought it was time for a change.

I nailed his coffin, metaphorically speaking and did things that I loved. Spending more time outdoors, playing video games, and working out were some of the things I did. Heck, I even  took myself on a date, ALONE. I wouldn't go to a restaurant alone usually because it seems weird to be going there by yourself. I mean, when was the last time you went to a restaurant on a Friday night by yourself? Yes, I actually did go on a Friday night and saw a bunch of people.  I actually went to Olive Garden and ordered some bomb Chicken Alfredo. They all were happy and I distinctively remember seeing a couple wearing two similar hoodies. The guy was wearing a black hoodie with the universal male gender symbol, while the girl was wearing the same color but with the universal female gender symbol. I can't find the hoodie anywhere online but I want it. I'll buy two but with the male symbols, keep the other one in my closet for the future. Anyways, I assumed they were going out because I did see that they kissed and were holding hands under the table. (It sounds really stalkerish but it's pretty hard to miss a cute looking couple sitting in the table next to you.) I didn't start getting tears in my eye like I usually would, instead I reassured myself that I'll be okay. I'll get some of that in the future. I WAS OKAY BEING ALONE! I.. moved on? I think I already let go, and accepted everything without becoming a sobbing mess. I spent the rest of the dinner looking around myself, I was surrounded by happiness whether it was between those two couples or just an elderly person sitting on the corner smiling. I was happy. I felt myself glow. I now don't mind being alone because we all have to be independent at some point of our lives. I can say that I'm back to myself fully now. It took me a few months, multiply the duration of my relationship with him by 3-4 but I'm here. I'm on the other side. I'm happy again and I'm embracing every moment of my life now.

Now I'm reaally tired after today. I went to a bunch of places with my grandpa, and oh yeah, my grandpa lives with us now. He has a daughter who is in 2nd grade, and she's my aunt. Yes. It's a long story, which I will save that for another post. I got my haircut today and it kinda looks messed up because it's reaally short. 

Now as for my title to my blog, I'll explain that later.

If some of you guys can guess it, then good for you. If not, you'll have to wait til the next blog post. I spilled the news to my sister.. and then my grandpa who I just told an hour ago....

Stay tuned.

Anthony