I was browsing on the web this morning after my morning shower and stumbled across an article about the moon that triggered my interests. The moon this weekend will be appear to be bigger, and if you miss it you're gonna have to wait til 2029 to see the next one. (source: CNN)
So, did you go outside to look at the "super moon" today? I know I did. After dinner, which today was a bit late, around like 9 pm, I quickly remembered about the moon and went through my back door and across my neighorbor's lawn to see a bright, huge.. well, super moon. It was amazing. I made a wish. And it came true, well half and half.
You see, my ex and I had a thing for moons. We would stare into the sky into the mysterious moon, and we would just admire each other's presence all while still looking up above. We held each other tightly by the hand and it was a kodak moment (or brokeback moment :P). We did this in the car many times, and on the bench in front of walmart. Having my eyes closed, I thought about him when I saw the bright moon as I made a wish. The wish, I cannot say because it wouldn't be a wish if I let you know.
I thought about him when I was sitting down in the guest room staring out the window - listening to Sam Tsui's cover of "Just a dream" (Here, listen to it. IT'S AMAZING but sad. Kurt's amazing also!)
Pressing the "play button" on my iPod touch, I noticed that I was holding the last visible memory of him. Because, like, he bought a screen protector and a case for my iPod. I sat down to observe outside my window, and the sun was setting. Inside, it was pretty quiet because the kids were playing in the backyard. I was engulfed by memories which filled by vision as I closed my eyes. A tear was slowly falling down my face, okay maybe not "a" tear but let's just say I few. I missed everything about him, and I can admit that if he were to show up to my door right now I would be happy to see him.
Now, you can see that today was filled with more memories than usual. The song, moon, the wish, and then A TEXT MESSAGE FROM HIM. He texted me as I was getting ready to sleep at around 12 am, and he basically thanked me for providing him that packet of information involving his health problem, because it helped him but it was still "painful." He is hurting. I jumped in excitement and immediately texted my best friend that he contacted me. Well, it turns out that something similiar happened to my best friend with her boyfriend. It's really weird because her boyfriends always has some connection with me, and this time where was a CLEAR connection that my best friend's life and I are intertwined.
Basically, in summary, things haven't been going so great between them two because of some minor issues but today was their anniversary (well at 12am really) and they were at Walmart. My best friend got him an anniversary card with two people holding each other, and you could only see the "back side" of them. It turns out that she bought the card while her boyfriend was on the other side of walmart, and then quickly remembering that it was their anniversary, her boyfriend stopped by Kroger to pick out a card. And guess what, out of all the cards in the isle, he picked the SAME EXACT card but it was a little bigger than my best friend's. They were even conversating afterwards about their anniversary, and how they picked the "perfect" present with everything "they" wanted to say inside. Well, surprisingly enough, the cards did say similiar things, but only one sentence. They both had the same card, with one sentence written similarly, and it wasn't the three worded sente but something more. She called me right after that moment and we were both jumping with excitment because this meant that her boyfriend is starting to get his "feelings" back because remember that things weren't going to great (minor issues)? Yeah! And this all happened around the time I received a text from my ex. Is my ex getting his feelings back? That's not important right now.
THen, it sank in that this is indeed a valid reason on why he broke up with me. It's confirmed now based on this text message that there's more to the story because he just admitted to me that he's still hurting health wise. I'm glad I left him with that package of information, but the question is do I respond to his text message? The way he wrote the text message, it seems like he just wanted to thank me and there's no need to try and spark up a conversation based on that single text message. I think I'll leave it alone because if I do respond, it wouldn't lead to anything like a conversation anyways. I'll let him deal with his issue, but I'm glad things are starting to marinate because he probably read that HUGE package in which I added a lot of stuff saying that I will stick with him and other important information about his health. It would sounds so wrong to ignore the text message when he was once apart of my life and was of significant (and I can say that he is still). But responding wouldn't do any good or help the situation, I think I should go with my instincts and not respond. What do you think?
*Edit- actually, it's best that I don't respond. The way that I ended it with him, my final email it seems to be good enough that if he wants something more then he will let me know. People will move mountains and oceans if they wanted to be with you, even if they think the door is closed. I know I moved my moutains for him already, but now it's his call. I can't risk my progress so far. 4 months no contact going strong.
Either way I think I'm a winner and that there may be a small small chance in the future. But then again I can't think about that because I'll let things happen naturally because that's how him and I fell head over heels, something out of a movie really. It'll happen if it was meant to happen. Let it happen naturally. That reminds me of that Selena Gomez song that my sister listens to, great. Has anyone heard of that Friday song? It's so dumb but it's catchy, the lyrics somehow has a way to stick in your head.
Anthony
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